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note: this entry is gonna be purely emo ranting. skip if you're only here to look at photos. as according to Maslow hierarchy of needs theory, a person has 5 levels of needs. in the order of basic, safety, social, esteem and self actualisation. i'm not here to preach business textbooks theories, although i'm in the midst of reading my 3rd one for my project, bleah. what i'm trying to say is how my life is lacking in every level of the needs. i know, you'll be rolling your eyes saying that probably yourself or the auntie that sells tissue at ang kio central has more of a difficult life then i do. but hey, this is my blog and i'm gonna talk about MY problems. that auntie can jolly well blog about her problems of declining market share of the tissue peddlers in her own blog if she wants to. by the way, if you want my 2cents, i think the tissue peddling market is kinda saturated. how bout diversifying to other stuff. maybe sell sweets or something. anyway. life sucks. now lemme go into details. firstly, my room is in a mess. my closets can no longer fit all my clothes and i've resorted to hanging the remainder on a bamboo pole attached to the ceiling by strings. so technically my room now looks like a walk in closet with a bed, a desk, a chair and my desktop. a very messy desk with highlighters, pens and lecture notes everywhere. next, i'm having a terrible pimple outbreak and bad hair days. i blame it on the lack of water consumption, stress and the late nights. i've resorted to wearing caps to school to hide my hair and face. will somebody please recommend me a good pimple cream. from now on i'm gonna sleep by midnight and drink water like it's sauvignon blanc. another thing. i have quite a few bags that i've accumulated over the years and since i barely most of them, i keep them stacked in my closet. and you know what happened. there's that mildew thingy on it due to the humidity and also because i stacked them to tightly together. and some has even started to peel okay. two of my puma limited edition bags are peeling so bad i had to throw them away. i'm so gonna buy all the thirsty hippo that my econ minimart has and place them everywhere in my room. like 5 in every closet. and i'm getting fat. i need to do a sport. the only part of my body getting thinner are my fingers from all the blogging. oh i'm damn broke too. its gotten so bad to the point that i've even thought of eating at kopitiams. my love life. i'm immensely private about this aspect of my life, so i'm not even gonna say anything about it. oh, and this next factor in my life right now is the most fucked up. so i'm gonna spend 25 paragraphs talking about.. WHY SCHOOL SUCKS! it takes me like a 45 minute bus ride just to reach school and you know how much i HATE taking the bus. i'm forever late every morning because i can't decide what to wear. and also because i got nothing to wear. some of my friends' been telling me to plan the night before so that i wont waste so much time in the morning to decide. but i just cant do it. i'm a mood dresser. i usually dress according to what i'm feeling that day. so if i took out a white tshirt and skinny jeans the night before, and then i'm feeling fat in the morning, then i definitely cant wear that white tshirt right? i'll look like a cow. and somemore the skinny jeans. even worse. i'll look like part cow, part dumpling. its been like 1 month since school started and i still got no friends okay?! damn sad can! how ironic issit that people label me a social butterfly. maybe because i've grown too fat so i cant really fly. now, i'm just social butter. i melt cause i cant handle the heat. i mean if you have a class of 300+ people and its only lectures without tutorials, you dont really have a chance to strike conversations. and somehow everyone has formed their own mini cliques consisting of people they knew from poly and this makes it even harder. and you know what i noticed about SIM. nobody smiles at people who're not in their cliques. everyone's like fucking unfriendly okay. during break time, as i was grabbing a stick of fishballs at the snacks kiosk, i smiled at this girl as i passed to her the tongs to grab the fishballs. and she stared at me like i killed her parents like that. and this isnt uncommon okay. when i smile or make small talk to people, i usually get this stare like i just asked them whether their mum goes for a brazilian. its either that or that 'i didnt see your smile so i'm gonna act like i didnt see you' look. fucking terrible k. you know how some people go to school cause they look forward to meeting their friends. i go to school cause i look forward to going home. but fuck it, i have many other friends. so i just have to bear with this shit for 1.5 years. this is like my main motivation for my degree right now. should i even mention about my projects. constantly increasing like the numbers on my weighing scale. OMG!! and the amount of research to be done is sooooooooo ridiculously absurd. WTF LA!! LIFE SUCKS!! not even listening to Jason Mraz's Life Is Wonderful on repeat is assuring me at all. i'm gonna take a bottle of sleeping pills and hopefuly everything will be better when i wake up. on the other side. =( |
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